Ok this is totally off topic (but I don't really think I have a topic!) but I found a website www.classmates.com that is really neat. You can go in and research your old schools an register to find old friends. I short cut my old high school friend I found and I used it neither of us is registered paid gold members but what we did was send a message and put our emails in the subject line. That way we got them to each other with out having to pay the membership fee. It is neat to see all the old names as well even if you don't contact anyone and that part is free.......

Thanks for everyone who read my blog and offered some good advice and food for thought. I appreciate it very much! I am working on a plan to de-stress my life! I am getting hubby to buy me a portable DVD player for the bus. That way the 2 plus hour bus ride home will be a distraction of watching a movie instead of staring out the bus window thinking about stuff I should not dwell on. It is a start. Hubby and I are going to work on the bsmt playroom over the next two evenings to see what we can get done there and move the kids toys down (at least some of them) so that the kids can play down there and if worse comes to worse we can close the door on the mess! Plan on scrapbooking again, I have not done that in a while. I have a nice craftroom in the basement with a huge work desk I have not used in a long time. Maybe I will work on it and do laundry at the sametime. Need to find a way to manage the house so it is not like one big cleaning thing on the weekends that takes up all my time... Need to work on mind over matter. Think myself well.... Go to the doctor get checked out and work on my health..... Can see some light at the end of that long tunnel.....

Not a good night. My Dad and I got into a whopper on the phone last night. He was going on and on and on about my husband. Works so slow, buys things he does not need, on and on. I am defending my hubby and my Dad is getting frusterated with me. I say you know even if I agree with you it is still not your busines. He gets offended. I sometimes just feel obligated to my Father because he has helped us out a lot. He is building a toyshelf for the kids in the basement playroom and leaves a list of things for Hubby to do and if he does not do them my father freaks. So complicated.... Then my Dad feels bad when I get upset and says he should not get into a fight with me and should not be telling me all this stuff about my husband he is just frusterated with him. What do I say. I know he is helping with the playroom because he knows I am stressed and he is trying to help but sometimes his helping makes it worse. But my hubby is really slow and if it were up to him to make the playroom it would never get done. So I feel stuck in the middle. I do have a lot of stress. Commuting is wiping me out. After work I am rushing my ass off trying to get everything done and then on the weekends I have to clean the house and do laundry with all of the kids under my feet. No time for me. God I feel like all I do here is whine. But I guess better to whine here then take it out on my hubby....

Boy I feel like crap today. I forgot an important lesson my mother taught me. Back track-- my Dad and my husband never really ever got along. Mostly on my Dad's side. He wanted a certain type of husband for me and hubby is not exactly it. My Dad is very old fashion in his opionons of what a husband is. You know, kill the food bring it home to the cave for the wife to cook it, ok he is not that bad but you get the drift. My hubby is very laid back and I kinda wear the pants you could say. Plus hubby is kinda slow to do things, not lazy but goes at his own pace and that drives my Dad nuts. Now my Dad is a good guy, helps us out when we need it, can pretty much build fix anything but he has been doing it for years and is quick. Anyways, when my Mom was here she would buffer my Dad's harsh words or if my father complained to me about hubby I would talk to her about it and she would talk to him. During the summer after my Mom died my father and hubby bearly spoke to each other, my Dad was not a nice person. Since Dad started dating recently he is much better. My hubby said he likes the new father in law better then the summer time father in law. Ok flash forward to current day.
We are in the process of fixing the basement to put a playroom down there for the kids. Dad and brother and hubby working on it. Brother was helping hubby and is very much like my Dad. Works quick and my slower paced hubby drove him crazy. Anyways, Hubby did not use cables and such Dad provided for what ever reason. Brother told Dad. Dad and Brother expected Hubby to be at a certain point over the weekend and he was not. I said to them HELLO he works on the weekends and we have 2 kids and he makes dinner for himself ( so another blog story) and has to feed the lizard ect, my point being he is not sitting around all weekend watching the walls you know. Ok so yesterday Dad comes over because he is going to build a giant toy shelf. He was going "just mesure" the wall and ended up building most of the shelf. All the time Dad is slipping and starting to complain about hubby. Why did he need to buy new cable when Dad sent some up, it was not "good" enough. Apparently Brother filled him in on all the stuff hubby did/did not do and say. So Father is annoyed with Hubby. When Hubby got home (everyone else gone) I was so frustrated because day filled with my Dad complaining and I did not get to clean the house or do any laundry. So I told hubby about my Dad/Brothers complaints. BAD BAD BAD. I think as soon as I thought about it or as soon as the words came out of my mouth I regreted it. Hubby of course got upset or pissed off. He said he does not want the help with the bitching. I know my mom used to say there is not point repeating what someone says to you especailly in anger/frustration because they do not always mean it and it should not be repeated. All I did was throw a monkey rench into a already not very stable relationship between Dad and Hubby. All because I wanted to vent. Boy I feel like crap. Hubby will not say anything to Dad, he is not like that. He will be quietly annoyed. I just feel like becasue I was in a funk I dragged Hubby down with me. Only good thing, Dad is working on my basement during the day when hubby is not home so they will not be bumping into each other. Brother on the other hand is anohter story. He is really pissing me off but the is another blog........

Who invented cleaning anyway? Who's bright idea was it to suggest we live in clean dare I say dust free homes? Does anyone realize how truely impossible it is to keep a house clean. House clean is an oxymoron. I have two kids and a dog plus a bunch of neighbourhood kids who call my house their second home. Do you know how many shoes are by my door? Vacume, what a joke. Can you tell I am a little bitter? My co-worker said what are you up to this weekend relaxing? I started laughing and could not stop. He is looking at me like they need to send the straight jacket. I said oh that was a good one I needed a good laugh. Relax is he crazy? I have to clean the house (and yes people it is a disaster) do about 6 loads of laundry, refree a bunch of kids all day long. Relax ya what ever. Not to mention I promised the kids to take them to the show and I have to go to my Dad's for my neices birthday cake. Please don't get me wrong, I am greatful I have a house to clean (sometimes) and healthly kids with great friends (sometimes). It is just that sometimes I wonder is there ever time for me? Like now I am sitting here typing and the mess is calling me "come baaaaack someone is going to drop innnnnn get uppppppp" my response F U. Not really outloud of course with all the little ears around. It is just that during the week I don't get home till 6 and I have till 9 to make dinner feed kids do homework baths read story feed varity of pets and fall exhusted into bed by 9 cause I have to get up at 5am. So cleaning during the week is not an option. I have to do it on the weekends. Unfortatley my husband works late shift on weekends 11-8 12-9 so he is never around. Not that I don't love him dearly (ok sometimes) but he is not the most helpful cleaning person around. He will walk over the mountain of shoes and go so what needs to be done? Hello, um you can not reach the front door would that be a problem for anyone? UG UG UG
Being a grown up is not always a great thing. I want to be a selfish kid and play video games and toss my shoes in the corner (ok ya I do the toss the shoes thing sometimes)
Well I guess it is time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and start to clean my house........
Queenie