Today I am confused and need some of your guidance.

Two issues are bothering me today.

Ayden in school. Or maybe just disciplining him. There was an incident at school. Nothing major or out of the ordinary to that school anyway. But when he first told me what happened I told him like you used to say “if you tell me the truth you may get in trouble but not as much trouble if you lie to me”. So as it turns out he “left out” part of the story or as he likes to put it “told me most of the truth”. So now he is in trouble. Again not so much for what happened at school but for lying about it.

So Sean and I talked about consequences. We decided it had to be severe in order for him to get the message. So we decided no friends in he is not allowed out with them, no video games or movies in his room at night for 7 days. When we tell him he is crying and mad and saying “but I tried to tell you everything, I said there was hands on” I started to wavier. Sean is looking at me like DON”T GIVE IN. I said ok since there seems to be a misunderstanding on what was said or not said, I will reduce your punishment from 7 to 4 days. He was still pissed but I said that was that.

He went in the house and then said he hated me, I am no fun, I never let him have friends in, we do not do anything fun on the weekend, this house was so boring. On and on. I was really mad because I try so hard to be the fun mother. Kids are always in my house coming and going and we do stuff on the weekends. Sean said he is only saying it because he was mad and I should not be arguing with him.

So now it is 4 days of punishment and I am dreading it.

Yesterday was day one. The weekend is the main days. The hardest days. It is going to be nice out this weekend. Sean is like no stick to our guns. I am like easy for you to say because you work all weekend and will not hear the constant wine of I want go out.

But if I give in I will never get control….. Boy it is hard

My second problem is Dad and this wedding. We are so totally not talking hardly anymore. He is such an ass now. I am suppose to be quiet and go with the flow of the “new” family. Because I stopped going over there so much or talking to him I think he thinks I am complying. But I am not. I am still me and I still think the family has gone to a complete shit since you died. You would not be happy.

So he is making a list of people invited. Aunty Cathy is the problem. He is such a hypocrite in this area.
He says she is your sister not really have a relationship to him and he has not seen her since the funeral that much. But there are other of your family he has called and invited. He likes them better. I want to say well if you want to technical, your fiancée was Ma’s best friend for over 30 years and you did not like her very much then but you are marrying her now. See this is where my problem is. I want to say it. It is on my tongue. It seems like it is a matter of time before I do.

This all may be a mute point if he decides to invite her which I hope he does. If he does not, I feel like I must make a stand. How do I do that exactly. I can not boycott the Wedding if for nothing else then it would break the kids heart as they are in the wedding and Sean and I are Djing it as well.

I don’t know anymore……..

I wish you were able to help me. Whisper in my ear what to do. I guess I have to rely on my instincts and what I think you would do….

I love you and miss you very much

Love Me